VEGAS baby, VEGAS!

WE WILL ROCK YOU is one of the most entertaining shows i've ever seen in lovely Las Vegas! I am officially a fan of Queen and JASON WOOTEN aka Galileo Figeroe. the acting, the dancing, the plot, the MUSIC is awesome and the show is a must- see you'll fall in love with it the minute it starts.

as for the outlets.... I WILL BE ROCKIN THE MOST DC AND AEROPOSTALE EVER! i have new gear people...watch out! it's 50% persent off the whole store (Aero) better go now! Bath and Body works is quite delightful as well. oh yeaaaaaaaaaaah don't worry i didn't forget you guys...i handled some Christmas shopping while i was there.

i want my hair like this

the blond in the back is a bit much...maybe just a panel. my hair is gay and poofy when short i'm thinking about keeping it long with my choppiness in the back. tell me if this is too common or if i should keep my black hurr. i'm lovin the bangs tho!

where i'll be in about 2 years

The "Yay Area" with Dezzo and Anjel. this will be quite interesting.
an apartment with 2 freaks, we are all adventurous and curious, but it's good thing one of us (angel) has great sense of direction- so we won't get lost, i'm a little scared of the outcome, but according to Anjel's mom, we're good to live with each other. she was observing us yesterday and concluded that we wouldn't rip each other's heads off. haha WE'RE GOOD TO GO!

this plan is a maybe, but as you can see, we're close enough to know that we'd still be friends in that amount of time. Even if we're pretty wacko, we manage to compromise our differences for this rather unusual friendship.

i <3 you guys!

i am actually pretty fucken sane.

i talked to Lesbone today, the infamous ADHD woman. haha no, she really doesn't have ADHD, but it seems like it. although she rants and raves about different topics here and there, she's a great listener. she is honest, esp. with me and i'm thankful once again for having friends like that in my life. people who have been through shit holes of their own and tell me the truth straight up. people who i can be real with- who don't front, who can tell me the truth although it may burn me in the worst way. believe me, it's happened. we all go through shit in life, we get through it, but most of all when situations like mine happen, you gotta check yourself. for a long time now i've been trying to right my wrongs and have gotten through it with flying colors. the pain goes away for a while but the scars are always there to remind me of what happened. for example, lately i've had a buzz in my head from day to night. almost like a headache, but close to the feeling you get when you've had too much caffeine- INSOMNIA? i can't sleep sometimes knowing that there are open-ended problems and patterns that keep repeating. i checked myself today and i've been checking myself for a while now asking my friends and family if i'm "stupid". not the exact word, but close to it and you probably know what i mean. making dumb ass decisions if you must. i try to tell both sides and try to understand how it feels for the both of us and we all know that this whole situation is a learning process and the answer will be revealed in due time. we must know that WE DO NOT HAVE CONTROL we need to let it be...and be still.

i've had way too much patience.

way more than usual. it's actually a good thing. he's busting his ass off to prove to me that he's better than i think he is- obviously i think rather low of him after what had happened. i feel bad sometimes when i step back and look at the situation. i've yelled at his ass out of anger from what had happened and as much as we both know he pretty much deserves it, he's trying too hard to even receive that much guilt from me. it's to the point where he's scared that i'm goin to yell at him so he goes out of his way to make sure that doesn't happen...sometimes it's actually kinda funny, but yeah- it's sad. i know myself and when i'm mad i tend to be a biznatch and not let the other person have a chance to make things better- basically, THEY CAN'T WIN. it sucks, i know, i've felt that way many times and i shouldn't reapeat it to others.
the other day we chilled with Dezzo and Christoff at Brea and Islands then we watched Crash. we haven't had much quality time, and that made up for it. the other day was seriously considered QUALITY not QUANTITY. quantity is how things usually are...just chillen for a couple hours..sometimes it's even down to minutes.
i took him to my cousin's barbecue and maybe i shouldn't have gotten him drunk because he shuts up ( he's a beligerent drunk and he knows it so he'd rather not say a word), but it was pretty cool. it's gonna be a while for him to get used to everyone. ( although most girls like it when guys just fit in )
i've noticed that when it comes to guys and friends, i expect so much from the guys i go out with. i notice that when my  friends mess up here and there, i'm like, "fuck it whatever, it's all good" and when the guy fucks up, it's like "hell nah, why are you like that? (dumbass)" i guess that's what it comes down to- high expectations. girls too, have a lot of pride, and as much as we know in our hearts that we're most likely NOT going to marry these fellas, we want the best out of them because that's what we deserve, right ladies? i need to chill out sometimes- because i know not every guy i go out with is Mr. Perfect.
that's what relationships are for: growth. and growth in itself is a learning process.